when you out in public with your child and there’s a Katy Perry song playing in the background
Tbh I’m afraid to go to Portland. I’ve heard bad things about it and everyone who lives there, including its local squirrels and mushrooms, no offense.
What if I get attacked by a gang of kombucha homebrewers? What if a young tattooed couple hits me with their $1400 baby stroller? What if someone hands me a hempen flyer for a Christian hot yoga meetup? It’s too dangerous.